I am a planner by nature. I enjoy the process of making lists, executing tasks in an orderly fashion, organization is one of my favorite areas of study. All too often I make the ability to plan for every eventuality a god in my life. Change is hard for me. Especially since I crave change and have the tendency to freak out when it actually happens. I am impatient. I resist fast changes and ones that take forever. I like change to come within my (planned for)control. I am a control freak. Why am I saying all of this? It probably qualifies me for entrance into some kind of institution. Oh well.
We are in full nesting mode here at the Andersen abode. With in the next two months we should be ready (ready?hmmmm can you ever be ready for this? Ok fine we will be as ready as possible) to take in foster children.
Our desire is to open our home to a sibling group under three years old. I am so excited. I am so excited! I am terrified!!!!
This is not like getting ready for company. It isn’t like preparing for a baby. There really isn’t anything I can compare it to.
I am attempting to acquire baby gear. I have no idea what the sex of the baby or babies will be. I also don’t know if we will have a toddler too, or two, and what their age and sex will be.
When I think of these children that I don’t yet know my heart yearns to give them everything I can. Some things I am struggling with today as I make my lists are as follows:
It breaks my heart that I can’t give them brand new beautiful only-for-them things like I did when my biological babies were born. I want them to feel like we have been waiting for only them when they come. I want to create a special place in our hearts for them. A place that remains open to them even if they have to go. A place that includes their biological family regardless of the kind of relationship we will or won’t have with them. They will be a part of our story and us a part of theirs.
It breaks my heart that in order for them to come to my home they have to be abandoned, neglected, abused or all of the above.
I want each child who comes here to know that they are loved,wanted, planned for, supported, and cared for.
I am scared of the pain that is coming no matter what happens for them and us.
I am enjoying the planning to be ready for anything. Yet I am yearning to personalize these things for the individuals who will be in our care. I want them to leave with way more then they came.
I don’t want to make rookie mistakes and have rookie expectations. (Yeah I am doomed in that department huh)
Most of all I am praising God that he will lead and guide us as he has been doing throughout the last two years of this journey. I am thankful for my husband and I can’t wait to dive into these deep waters with him hand in hand. I am thankful for my children who are willing and eager to share their rooms, parents, space, and hearts in ways they have never had to do. I pray God will protect them. I trust that God has brought us here and I can’t wait to see this all play out. I am also good with waiting. Wow that is really true?!How uncharacteristic of me!
A song comes to mind……🎶there is a happy dale far far away…🎶. #iamcomingwithyouteddy. If you know what that is from I will give you an imaginary medal and be your best friend lol